Please advise this man

I stumbled on this on facebook and thought I should share. He wrote: My girlfriend told me it was over between us. I thought about it and decided that life without her was meaningless so I decided to commit suicide.

I drank Lacasera with Suya but nothing happened, I proceeded to another level of poisonous concoction by preparing Turkey with gizzard, pineapple juice and lots of tomatoes but yet nothing happened. 

I ate cake, chocolate mixed with ice-cream, yet I didn't die. I am so confused and tired right now because I just finished eating fried rice with Maltina and freash fruit salad but nothing happened. What should I do to kill myself? Please advise him on what to do.